Feel lightly even when you feel deeply.

 14+ 352 = 366 laps = 9.83 miles

1 mile foot

5 miles bike

Feel lightly even when you feel deeply. Sounds counter intuitive, however it is not.

But Our Heroine didn't make herself change. It came when she let go of the hate the fear and even some Self-Loathing. Forgiveness is so powerful. But never is it more powerful then when the victim forgives themself. It only happened when she met someone who triggered a desire to be her best self.  She is not perfectly healed but she can now feel lightly now. Even though she feels so very deeply.  And that feels so good.

Healing not for someone else but still because of someone else is not a thing that was expected. The scars one day will fade 

If she's lucky then maybe she'll get to be have someone take a chance on her. 

But...they are proof that She is stronger then that which tried to kill her. 

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It is dark because you are trying to hard.

Lightly child, lightly

Yes feel lightly even though you are feeling deeply

Just lightly let things happen and lightly cope with them

 ~Aldous Huxley

Pagan Picnic and being tied

 Our Heroine and the Wizard of Aim, Ran the Rampant Strawberry at the Pagan Picnic this week end with the Other Aim, the Side Witch and Mary Moon. Also Tess and Her Love. It was and Adventure. The Wizard and Heroine would be there both days with a pop up either way so the risk was low. Day one was super hot.

Day to was more manageable. Our Heroine made profit for sure. One novelty was a 3 rune reading with hand carved rubber stamps that they stamped on the arm of the client the client also received a business card with the runes description.

Our Heroine has been having Hecatate and Freya showing up a lot lately. Well she does love animals.evwn if she doesn't want to add to her pet collection. She wore her sorry I late I saw a dog shirt the second day. It was very popular. She also bought a new green dress she will wear to the Aztec's relationship celebration. 

Pack up finished at 7 and the Heroine was in the pool doing 20 laps by 745. 

Only did 20 laps.

She decided to take the next day off of exercise. Just her normal everyday work and that was all. She was even to worn out to eat properly she had a QT hot dog, bacon, and frozen berries. Her diet coach would not be happy. 

 332+20 = 352laps = 9.45 miles

Joining a race

Our Heroine went and had her nails cut down and acrylic layered on with gel polish so they are stronger hopefully she won't hurt herself any more. They are the perfect length for nails down a back. A girl can dream.

Our Heroine did a second day of swimming a mile. Then a third day. She is also from naly seeing the scale move again. She is looking at joining a 10 week go at your own pace race.

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Our Heroine ran the aquatic class today when the teacher was out. She even chooses the exercises she hates the most. If feels like if she hates them they are probably the ones she most needs to work on. Our Heroine goes hard though she ups the game on each one she does. Cardio is timed but the strength training is by count. Cardio is 30 minutes long strength is 20 min long the cool down stretches. 

The Our Heroine swam 20 laps in 30 min but having went hard on the work out 20 was enough she is sore.  

It is official our Heroine joined the race.

She is also cutting parchment for a scroll for a Pirate friends aoa scroll. Next is art. 

167.4lb today 

237.25 + 94.75 = 332 laps = 8.91 miles

1 moon, 2 moon, white moon, blue moon

Was not feeling the third person thing today . This Sagittarius moon is the second this month making it a Blue Moon. So besides calling in this it is a releasing ritual kind of manifesting time along with calling in manifestation ritual time. 9 & 9 it is a house kind of number if you care please go live ok it up if not know I have a I release list and a I call in list. I could not find the moon after my swim till I finally asked the clouds to move so I could get a good look at her. 

 I told the moon the things I give to it to take. And then erased them from my phone list a List of nine things

 Also the 9 things I call into my life as well.

 I shall not share them all with you except for one. This month between moons I decided to give someone who deserves it forgiveness. I worked on forgiving me, for staying in a toxic marriage, for needing to for survival to care for my children. One of which is my step child so I would have had no rights to. I was a good actor at times when I was at the lowest points I acted as if they were some of our best.  I forgive myself For using that situation to care for my mother through heart attack and stroke. I also am accepting that receiving alimony is not wrong it is survival. I intend to build myself many sources of money income so as not to not need it. Besides I deserve love and will not let losing alimony by moving forward in love hold power over me. I forgive myself all I didn't know, and all I tolerated. I Release with this Sagittarius blue moon that grief. And it leads me to in many ways forgive my Ex not because he deserves it. But because I deserve it. I Release him. ("You have no power over me"~Sarah the Labranth) SO MOTE IT BE!

As you can see me and the moon had a long conversation. She was hiding for a while so I moved the clouds so I could see her in all her Glory. During that time I snapped some photos of her. Blessed be my Luna.

37.25+20=57.25 

57.25 + 180 =237.25

237.25 =6.37 miles

Just another day

 180 laps=4.83  miles 10 laps in 15min

37.5 = mile

Yesterday the our Heroine worked at home making Dinglehoppers for stock for the Pagan picnic this coming weekend. Then went to Aquasize and do laps. The Wizard of Aim made it to the work out so they chose to eat out together.

During dinner the Wizard of Aim stated she can tell if Our Heroine is in a Histamine flare or flare in general by her food order. Seems Our Heroine will actively check ingredients when not doing well.  Our Heroine's far speaker was at 6% so she pre called in for the SCA busyness meeting. 

Today was work as usual. Our Heroine realized she is done being a care taker and will be exploring becoming something new maybe as soon as the fall. She also took on a special request for a neighbor of second client and will we doing some cleaning once a month. Sigh  😔 There was a large wolf spider hanging out in the rest room of second clients tub. It scared Our Heroine buy surprising her when she went to fill the mop bucket. It's name shall be Athena. Or Charlie. Not sure.

Our Heroine scared herself by leaving in a rush to get C-clamps and baking pans for Lampworking before swimming. She left the oven on with a chicken breast cooking and only remembered when exiting the club of chlorinated water. She saw two 🚒 fire engines and had a minor panic as the memory came flooding in, She has never done that before. She called a person who shared the residency and they turned off the oven. The good thing was Our Heroine was racing to swim as fast as she could so she had max time in the shower since the club shut at 9 on Friday and Our Heroine got there at 8:05. She was leaving the club by 8:42

She took 15 minutes to swim. It would have been faster but she had hair under her goggles and they kept leaving the first 2 laps. 

Our Heroine might be ready to buy water 💦 🌊 proof bone conductive head phones. 

Since planned dinner was  in-edible she had to come up with something else to eat for dinner. The fastest thing was some vegan chicken that her daughter had and blue berries. 

Our Heroine need to plan dinner better. She is bad at feeding herself. 30 years of being a care taker leaves her a little meh if she isn't thinking of feeding someone else. 

She did eat salads for lunch 😊 

 

Dealing with others negativity

Our Heroine walked into her clients house to be hit with gossip & negative medical additude. Sigh 

Luckily it was a shopping day. Because the words kept pouring out, even in the vehicle  However in the Truckasaurus Rex Our Heroine put on her Witch play list that also has positive affirmations. 

They did stop the negative almost the second the music started.

This morning Our Heroine realized all her hair clips were in the car she wakes up with wild hair because she dosen.t sleep in a bonnet she needs to braid it for bed but again she doesn't It is a lot of work and she should put in the work but someday she dosen't have the spoons by bed time. 

Tonight the Witch Hat Society  is going out for dinner. The Side witch, the Wizard of Aim,  & Mary Moon. They are going to a place named Yeti. 

The goal is to go out at least once a month till the Side Witch 🧹 moves to Chicago Land.

Our Heroine believes that she will get home to late to swim today as such she will need to do twice tomorrow or attempt to do 20 laps instead of just 10.

 10  laps 

160 laps= 4.3 miles 10 laps in 16 min

37.5 = mile

replacing the scale #'s. And tools

Our Heroine is proud to have brought her lap time down to 15 min for 10 laps. Can't promise it will be that low every day but practice, practice, practice. 

Our Heroine has a rule she tries and live by which is don't buy the things unless you have proven you will do the thing first. As such she now has hand paddles and goggles also ear plugs. The Hand paddles help form. It is near impossible to turn arms and hands wrong while using them. It is nice to not have to clear water from her ears. And goggles are needed to stay straight in her lane and not hit the wall.

Our Heroine is not pleased with the scale however she is fitting in things better. She just wants faster results. She wants a tight stomach one that she would be proud of naked.

Our Heroine & the Wizard of Aim ran away to the woods. They made a 2 hr hike take 4 hrs as they stopped for rock hunting and photos a lot. 

 150 laps= 4.02 miles    10 laps in 15 min

37.5 = mile