Universe called. Now we ride the wave.

Our Heroine and the Side Witch, drove to Chicago, Thursday in Chicago looked at the Sky land the Side Witch is moving too. And met a Raven for Lunch. by Friday Our Heroine was just overwhelmed. She ate a sleeve of thin mints and doom scrolled after work (she had walked 3 miles during work while her client swam.)

She as just down, and overwhelmed as such spent time sorting blankets and sheets to go to the animal shelter. Just so much at once.

On days like this our Heroine would like to crawl up in the arms of someone and have them tell me I am doing good and it is going to all be ok.

Universe sent an invite to Sat Aquasize class with the folks of Thur and Tuesday night. When feeling completely alone in my over whelm She needed that. 

Our Heroine is not sure where to look for a place to buy. And she believes a job change is in the cards. Not sure if right away. there is an The same company in places handling the north office in Peoria even. That handled the whole area up there. So if she chooses to move north she can stay with this company and get a different client. Her field is very in high demand. She could also drive large box trucks, dump trucks or busses. Of become a multi millionaire. The last one is the best choice.

Swimming helped. The water moving over her skin as she slides through the water. Saying the number lap, over and over in my head while counting the strokes and breathing in on the four stroke, as she glides through the water. Occasionally thinking about next steps in life.  Breaking life in to the next few steps it all slows down when swimming. 

Having only herself to discuss my next moves makes it challenging but in the pool she can have those talks in her brain. Four strokes, breath, four strokes, breath.

Our Heroine know she intends to stay in IL because she has a commitment to The Snood Maker, for the STL REN Faire. Further she may not have her 2 clients healed enough to move on. She doesn't like the Politics in MO. So she won't move to MO. 

The other choice to to go stay in PA. But she won't be doing that before Fair.

Till then she is sorting her stuff further and organizing and purging down even more. 

Questions she asks herself as she is sorting.

When did she last use this

When will she use this

Can she replace it quickly if she needed it and for how much money 

Is it worth paying for it to be in storage 

Does she physically want to move it 

Our Heroine owns/ inherited some things she haven't delt with and she is now dealing with these items. In Nov she is planning to take some to her sister in Oregon. 

As of Late she has sorted fabric and bedding. 

All the while Pennsic is coming and I have my camper to work on, and stock to make.

If she gets the trailer/camper done it will absorb some of the stuff from the house. Though most of that is from an area that doesn't have the same rush to remove it from the garage.

In the meantime. Counting laps is real but hard to remember to list in 2 places.  And sadly she broke one of her rings losing the emerald bead.

Looking forward to things settling down by Christmas. 😂 

Moving and the Vikings are trying to recruit me.

Our Heroine is Back from Chicago. The Side Witch has a move in date for the Windy City. 

Our Heroine goal now is to move out near or before then she might get storage unit to start sorting and moving her stuff into it. That way she will know what she wants to keep. When the Side witch moves our Heroine's Son the Wizard  boy will move up stairs and if our Heroine is out of there then Dear Daughter has a friend that will move into this basement apt. Our Heroine can possibly crash at the Wizard of Aim's while a place is closed on if she can tolerate our Heroine for that long. Depending on where our Heroine will be moving. She is getting pre-qualified asap.  It will be So very close to getting back from Pennsic. 

Right now she is going through all the bedding. There is enough to have 6 or seven beds extra for company ( she has had that much company before.) It is not needed now.animal shelter is going to get a bunch. 

Our Heroine would like  company to come hang and chat and keep her company while she sorts her crap, and remind her to eat and support eating good choices. Maybe come for an hr swim with her in the middle of it all. 

Our Heroine is off Sat and Sunday so sort sort sort. 

 After noon plans sunday with a bunch of crazy Vikings ( Cara, Patrick, Jessica, Pam). I swear the Vikings are trying to recruit our Heroine. However  Our Heroine haven't gotten over her norse past life Her  husband whomever she loved very much died suddenly in an accident and our  Heroine lived a long life feeling alone without him and she never got over it. so they shant have any luck there. She shall stay Tudor. 

Ragnarok & swimming

366 laps+37.25 = 10.83 miles

1 mile foot

5 miles bike

 Our Heroine went to Ragnarok with her friend The Courtier. It was much fun. She was not officially in charge of anything more required to do anything but she brought her games and taught them and entered teens and tweens and littles. Which is why she is a Regional Minister of Youth. She also threw axes and knives and spears. Visited with people 
and committed to going to Baroness war to hang in the Bar running games. 

And some other things she committed too. 

On Sunday our Heroine got home early enough to see her son the Wizard who was moving in. Then ran off to swim a Mile. She wore her size small swimsuit for the first time. While it is a bit snug the med one is starting to fall apart because of the chlorine. She still is not happy with her size or shape but she is trying to have a better attitude about her body.

Monday work again then helped Queen Dork move a shed with Her Gallant Dork helping me. Asked her not to keep finding large things for Our Heroine to move. While there Our Heroine also fix the strike plate on a door so it would latch when shut for them. 

The fundraiser for our Heroine's friend closed out and there is enough for a wheel chair or scooter that will help. 

And she is thinking of either teaching or Merchanting @ Simple day.

Feel lightly even when you feel deeply.

 14+ 352 = 366 laps = 9.83 miles

1 mile foot

5 miles bike

Feel lightly even when you feel deeply. Sounds counter intuitive, however it is not.

But Our Heroine didn't make herself change. It came when she let go of the hate the fear and even some Self-Loathing. Forgiveness is so powerful. But never is it more powerful then when the victim forgives themself. It only happened when she met someone who triggered a desire to be her best self.  She is not perfectly healed but she can now feel lightly now. Even though she feels so very deeply.  And that feels so good.

Healing not for someone else but still because of someone else is not a thing that was expected. The scars one day will fade 

If she's lucky then maybe she'll get to be have someone take a chance on her. 

But...they are proof that She is stronger then that which tried to kill her. 

_____________________________________________

It is dark because you are trying to hard.

Lightly child, lightly

Yes feel lightly even though you are feeling deeply

Just lightly let things happen and lightly cope with them

 ~Aldous Huxley

Pagan Picnic and being tied

 Our Heroine and the Wizard of Aim, Ran the Rampant Strawberry at the Pagan Picnic this week end with the Other Aim, the Side Witch and Mary Moon. Also Tess and Her Love. It was and Adventure. The Wizard and Heroine would be there both days with a pop up either way so the risk was low. Day one was super hot.

Day to was more manageable. Our Heroine made profit for sure. One novelty was a 3 rune reading with hand carved rubber stamps that they stamped on the arm of the client the client also received a business card with the runes description.

Our Heroine has been having Hecatate and Freya showing up a lot lately. Well she does love animals.evwn if she doesn't want to add to her pet collection. She wore her sorry I late I saw a dog shirt the second day. It was very popular. She also bought a new green dress she will wear to the Aztec's relationship celebration. 

Pack up finished at 7 and the Heroine was in the pool doing 20 laps by 745. 

Only did 20 laps.

She decided to take the next day off of exercise. Just her normal everyday work and that was all. She was even to worn out to eat properly she had a QT hot dog, bacon, and frozen berries. Her diet coach would not be happy. 

 332+20 = 352laps = 9.45 miles

Joining a race

Our Heroine went and had her nails cut down and acrylic layered on with gel polish so they are stronger hopefully she won't hurt herself any more. They are the perfect length for nails down a back. A girl can dream.

Our Heroine did a second day of swimming a mile. Then a third day. She is also from naly seeing the scale move again. She is looking at joining a 10 week go at your own pace race.

_______________________________

Our Heroine ran the aquatic class today when the teacher was out. She even chooses the exercises she hates the most. If feels like if she hates them they are probably the ones she most needs to work on. Our Heroine goes hard though she ups the game on each one she does. Cardio is timed but the strength training is by count. Cardio is 30 minutes long strength is 20 min long the cool down stretches. 

The Our Heroine swam 20 laps in 30 min but having went hard on the work out 20 was enough she is sore.  

It is official our Heroine joined the race.

She is also cutting parchment for a scroll for a Pirate friends aoa scroll. Next is art. 

167.4lb today 

237.25 + 94.75 = 332 laps = 8.91 miles

1 moon, 2 moon, white moon, blue moon

Was not feeling the third person thing today . This Sagittarius moon is the second this month making it a Blue Moon. So besides calling in this it is a releasing ritual kind of manifesting time along with calling in manifestation ritual time. 9 & 9 it is a house kind of number if you care please go live ok it up if not know I have a I release list and a I call in list. I could not find the moon after my swim till I finally asked the clouds to move so I could get a good look at her. 

 I told the moon the things I give to it to take. And then erased them from my phone list a List of nine things

 Also the 9 things I call into my life as well.

 I shall not share them all with you except for one. This month between moons I decided to give someone who deserves it forgiveness. I worked on forgiving me, for staying in a toxic marriage, for needing to for survival to care for my children. One of which is my step child so I would have had no rights to. I was a good actor at times when I was at the lowest points I acted as if they were some of our best.  I forgive myself For using that situation to care for my mother through heart attack and stroke. I also am accepting that receiving alimony is not wrong it is survival. I intend to build myself many sources of money income so as not to not need it. Besides I deserve love and will not let losing alimony by moving forward in love hold power over me. I forgive myself all I didn't know, and all I tolerated. I Release with this Sagittarius blue moon that grief. And it leads me to in many ways forgive my Ex not because he deserves it. But because I deserve it. I Release him. ("You have no power over me"~Sarah the Labranth) SO MOTE IT BE!

As you can see me and the moon had a long conversation. She was hiding for a while so I moved the clouds so I could see her in all her Glory. During that time I snapped some photos of her. Blessed be my Luna.

37.25+20=57.25 

57.25 + 180 =237.25

237.25 =6.37 miles